I Always Do This

I always fall off the wagon. Well, I'm trying to be back on.  That's all I have to say, for now.... Other than that I am really sick of looking the way I do. My back still hurts as well...

shame

You know when you don't even want to log food because it is so many calories? Well, that wasn't today, but it was yesterday, and lets just say its a good thing I walked 20,000 steps yesterday.  Jonathan and I went to a Bavarian place, and we don't go there often, maybe once a month (which I suppose is often to some people) but I thought I would get what I want rather than getting something I didn't want since it doesn't happen very often. Problem is that what I want was probably 700 calories. Oh well....

I tried to get more fruits and vegetables at the store tonight. I kind of get trapped into eating 500 calorie dinners at work due to having to have desert and what not. Oh well...

I just did a little cardio tonight, and my arm challenge. I felt stupid only doing a little for the arm challenge, but my back has been hurting and the gym was actually busy, so I tool it easy. Besides, it was late.

I took some more baseline pictures...

BTW....

These are the "progress" (baseline?) pictures I took today:

 

Compared with how I looked on my honeymoon (standing in front of Hogwarts)

Killin It

That's the new lingo these days, didn't ya know? Anyway, today I make almost 7000 steps just walking around the halls of work in four hours. Then I went to the gym and worked out for an hour walking and later elliptical. I started a 30 day arm challenge, and had to figure out what is the world reverse push ups were. I found two different exercises, so I did both (one of which was insanely hard). I also did some leg exercises. My back isn't feeling to good these days, and yet, when I'm on the elliptical, it doesn't hurt at all. weird....

So that's one reason to keep going...to be in less pain. Tomorrow, I will have to go after work, and on Tuesday too, which could mean for a late night. Perhaps a short work out on Tuesday as I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn on Wednesday and then I'm flying to Seattle at the end of my work day. Thus Wednesday, aside from my normal walking, I won't get much exercise in...boo. Not sure how to get it on vacation either. That's always difficult. I'll try to go on walks (maybe runs?) But I'll have to watch my food intake a little more closely. Right, cause that will be easy. Or I can try and just maintain...

I feel like I'm in one of those biggest loser challenges where they can't use the gym for a week.

Maybe I'll walk while watching the walking dead tonight, and then fall fast asleep....

A spooky Halloween

I worked out like a beast today. Went for a walk in the morning with the husband and then worked out hardcore tonight, or as hardcore as one can at an apartment complex gym.

When I weighed myself this morning I was 134 something. That scale can be a little off, but I think I believe that I'm at least 135. By my calculations of losing 1.5 pounds every 10 days or 4.5 pounds per month, I will be at my goal weight (118) by my birthday. Why is 118 my goal weight? Because in my early 20's that was my weight and that is also within the ideal body weight range for me. You know, I really am open to that number changing because I don't know what a normal weight is for me. I've been battling extra pounds since I was 21. The highest I got was 145 and the lowest was 126 at my wedding. But even at 126, I didn't look how I used to.

I looked like this:

And yes, that is the real Back to the Future Car. Anyway, then I was as bad as this:

I didn't love being 145.  Right now, I am between those two pictures.

I don't want to be skin and bones. I don't want to be unhealthy. If my body says no, we don't want to be 118, but I'm fitting into my clothes, then fine. In fact, whenever I am around 130 I start to feel like it would be okay if I stopped there, but I won't for so many reasons.

So today I did the things I needed to do to get to my goals and support my values of health and fitness. I want to be strong and kick ass. want to reclaim what was mine. I'm not saying when I was "skinny" in high school that I was healthy. I didn't eat in moderation and I didn't exercise unless forced. I would have always taken the elevator/escalator or gotten a ride if I could. I was active, but not by choice. Hiking would have been hell to me. I am probably much more fit today then I was then.

No, this is it

What is my motivation? Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to lose weight in the fattest city in the United States and show that I did it without restricting food groups, without purging, without "cheat days." That moderation really is the key to weight loss? I want to be an inspiration, not a thinspiration, not a fitspiration, but an inspiration that you don't have to damage your body to "get healthy."

I don't want to get diabetes. I don't want to damage my body any more with glucose intolerance.

So here we go....

Hello....? Is this thing on?

I feel like this blog thing is a merry go round. Starting over again and again and again and again and again.

Yes....Trying to lose weight again. Why? Cause I'm sick of not fitting into clothes properly and being in pain.

Right now I'm around 135. Between my last post and this one, I got up to around 144, so I have lost almost 10 pounds, but I've been stuck in the upper 130's for around 6 months. Stuck isn't really the word though, stagnant is more like it. Not working out, not eating with balance and moderation. You know, same old same old.

It's interesting to read these posts and know I didn't meet any of those goals. That goal dress is still hanging in my closet. Would I like to wear it? Absolutely, but I cannot.  I don't really know what to say except do or do not...there is no try. Not anymore.